Oh no! I suck! Alert, alert, sound the alarm! Merde!
I’ve suspected it often, but today the evidence is glaringly obvious.
All these goddamn tricks the ego plays. She lined it up perfectly. I said I wanted to write. I declared it. And now I can’t. I suck.
Usually I’m not under pressure to write. But today it’s different. An article I wrote (for myself) has been solicited for a magazine online. (Hooray and Oh shit!) And they asked me to add another angle to it. Of, course, no problem, I agreed.
The thing is, I’m not the same person I was when I wrote the piece. My perspective has changed. So how in the hell does one wind back the clock and try to add another perspective/ angle based on a person that no longer exists?
So, let’s say the article has 2 parts (angles) right now. I need to add a third. Can I come from a completely different place and time? And if I try that, how do I (technically) make it cohesive with the other two parts?
I know my writing seems like I’m ‘talking’ a lot of the time. But the words are on purpose (most of the time). The arrangement is specific (usually). The grammar is particular (sometimes). It is a craft. Yadda yadda yadda.
And right now I’m stuck in my craft. I’m stuck and I suck.
It’s ridiculous, really. All this is so perfectly lined up for me as a ‘test.’ Okay, so you’ve declared you want to write? Fine, try this, smarty pants.
I have ideas on this extra angle. But, to translate ideas into words, and to keep the same writing style and ‘voice’ is my point of stuckness. Break from convention, some might say. Screw keeping a consistent ‘voice’ – be a risk taker. Innovate!
Yah, well, as much as I love to not follow guidelines, its unfair, distracting and unhelpful for the reader to change voice in the middle of a piece. It’s not ‘innovative’, it’s just dumb.
Maybe I can ‘channel’ my Self from that particular point in time. I think I need a flux capacitor à la Back to the Future.
Or maybe booze. Or a nap.
A miracle will do nicely, too.
Image via WikiNut
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